Make It Up

I was looking in the mirror, like I usually do, when I had to stop and look a little bit harder. I looked gorgeous. My deep blue eyes were accented with long, black lashes, and my skin was clear, even, and without "flaw." My lips were recently shined up with gloss and my smile was very white. I think that by the standards of most people I would have been declared very beautiful. But I did not feel pretty.

I've always had this weird relationship with makeup. Throughout high school I mostly wore makeup for drill team performances and special occasions. It was fun to use it rarely because I always got SO many compliments when I did wear it. But in general I have always loved feeling comfortable without anything on. The older I've gotten the more I have come to cherish the way I feel without makeup. I think that feeling beautiful without makeup is something that should be cherished by all women, but it seems today that it's more of an embarrasment than anything else. So many women talk about how they'd never dare leave the house without makeup on and I feel so sad when I hear that.

The older I've gotten the more I have also come to cherish the way I feel with makeup on. There is something so special about getting dolled up to go out on a date with Braedon. I think that when we take time to "get ready" it shows our spouses that we are still crazy about them! It shows that we are still trying to impress them and that we love taking the time to feel beautiful and confident for quality time together. I also love putting on makeup to take a cute picture with Alexa or go out for a night with my girls. It's fun to accentuate my beauty and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

This moment I had in the mirror was an uneasy one for me. As I sat and looked into my own eyes I thought about how much more often I've worn makeup the last year or so; more than I ever have in my whole life. I cried as I realized how much I've let external forces affect the way I feel about myself. Isn't that insane? We start looking at more magazines, someone makes a stupid remark and BAM it's like you are a whole different person now. It's amazing that we let tiny, imperceptible moments add up to this: what we become.

I think that going without makeup is beautiful. I think that going with makeup is beautiful too. I think the most important thing we need to ask ourselves is WHY am I wearing makeup? Personally, I feel the most like "me" when I don't have anything on, so that is what I usually choose. I also like to use a little bit of mascara here and there. But it's the days that I feel I need makeup that I choose not to wear it. Every so often I will look in the mirror while holding up the mascara brush and realize that I am about to change the way I look because I don't like myself enough. Those are the days that I put the makeup away, spray my extra nice perfume, and walk away from the mirror.