Our Story

What a plot twist you were.

On March 31st, I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across an article that a friend of a friend had written about his journey with divorce and spirituality (click here to read). It's surreal to look back to that experience - laying on the floor on my stomach, letting every single word soak my soul, feeling his pain and triumphing in his hope. Without even thinking about it, I opened the messenger app and searched his name. When I feel something deeply it's in my nature to express it; I've been that way for as long as I can remember. Never mind if it's a stranger who literally has no idea who I am, I'm going to tell them anyway. I honestly didn't even think about whether or not he might respond, I just needed him to know how I felt about what he wrote. I was startled when I got a message from him 20 minutes later. 

I responded to his response, and we continued to message throughout the next two days. I was literally blown away by him in general, and by all of the similarities between us. We're both writers who love Latin dance, thrive in the outdoors, and strive to find beauty in the midst of pain. We both have children and chose to leave our spouses because we outgrew being mistreated. With every message sent back and forth, I grew more and more intrigued by him. I felt like my eyes were being opened and I was experiencing one of the most beautiful humans I'd ever met. Within days I knew that getting to know him would be a blessing, regardless of what happened down the road. This kid was obviously special.

That weekend I traveled up to Layton to stay at my parents' house. I had plans to attend a big singles' dance in SLC on Saturday night. As we were messaging about our weekend plans he said he'd love to Facetime soon but he'd be busy for the next few days because he was traveling to SLC (from Idaho) with his news crew to cover General Conference (for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.) Then, you know, I basically freaked out realizing we'd be in the same city. I invited him to the dance, and that's how our first date happened. He seemed hesitant because he was carpooling down and wouldn't have his own car. My response was "Bahahaha. Well boy, if that's the issue I'll be your ride."

I get butterflies when I think about those "firsts." When he called me on the phone that Saturday night to ask about the dress attire and I heard his voice for the first time. The moment he walked out the door of that airbnb and my stomach flipped. He was taller than I pictured, with a trendy sense of fashion and dark facial features. When we hugged for the first time and the chemistry was ELECTRIC. We talked effortlessly on the way to the dance and being with him felt so natural. And boy, did we light that dance floor up. He was SO COOL I could barely believe it. I couldn't keep my eyes off him as he danced, sort of like he didn't care what anyone else thought - with the vibe of a protector and the sex appeal of a frat boy. I was magnetized.

Around midnight we left and took our first picture together, both of us sweaty messes. As we walked to my car I noticed him subtly guide me to the inside of him so I was further away from any cars passing by. We got snacks and parked at the U of U where we could overlook the city, and then we spent hours sharing music, stories, hearts, and a few kisses.

I woke up the next morning feeling love drunk. I drove home the that day like I was high on life and more excited for the future than I'd been in a long time. That week we talked every night and he graduated from BYUI with a Bachelor's in English. On his way home to AZ, he stopped in St. George and we spent the weekend together. We did ALL the things. We went to a climbing gym, joined one of my besties and her husband for a double date, went to his first Zumba class, hiked my favorite local trail, and played in the river by my house. Each hour I spent with him I felt more and more like I wanted to be with him forever. And even as I type this that seems INSANE because we "barely knew each other." But in reality, I felt like I was just getting to know him again. He tasted familiar and felt like home. 

By Sunday I decided to take it to God. I had planned not to date for about a year after my divorce was finalized, with the only stipulation being that if God said go for it, I would. I fasted on Sunday, and as Truman and I spent time together I felt the Spirit confirm to me, again and again, how much light he'd bring into my life if I chose to move forward in faith. And to be honest, in a way it was hard. Scary even, to open myself up to love someone again so soon. But because I've experienced it countless times over the past decade of my life, I have a fiery conviction that God knows what's good for me.

The next six weeks looked like nightly Facetime calls, a lot of miles on his car, and soooo much longing. We talked about philosophy and spirituality and quickly realized that sometimes we agree about things and a lot of the time we don't. With him, I experience mutual love and respect, even when our opinions differ. He's taught me about poetry and craft and bringing emotions to life through words. When I read his work I feel like I'm inhaling a little bit of who he is. I've consistently felt satisfied yet desperate to have more of him. 

I often tell people that dating him has been one of the most healing experiences of my entire life. The way he's good for me is indescribable. I feel like Heavenly Father hand-crafted him just for me. All of the ways he excels are where I fall short and where I've been broken - like a perfectly formulated antidote to my pain. And what's nearly unbelievable is that I seem to be that antidote for him too.

The way he compliments me leads me to believe that he sees and loves the darkest parts of me. He consistently honors the pain I've endured and celebrates my brokenness by viewing me as whole. When I speak, he listens intently and patiently, as if what I'm going to say next might be the most important thing he'll ever hear. 

I've experienced him loving my children in a way I hadn't been able to fathom. As a single father with one daughter, it's incredible to me that he's never seemed to have a second thought about scooping up three more kids. He laughs and plays and reads with them, he helps me care for them, and I can see even now how connected they are to each other. 

He's willingly molded his life to fit mine. On May 22nd he moved to St. George. He also accepted a position as a reporter with the St. George News and currently lives with two roommates he didn't know prior to a few weeks ago. Choosing to love him has been nearly effortless because he makes it so damn easy. When I look back at the first month we dated it BLOWS MY MIND to see indicators that I assumed we'd be together long-term. We did things like getting matching wrist tattoos and buying tickets for a concert that was five months away. During our time together, we've also experienced some exceptionally difficult trials, both separately and together. These experiences have helped me see that I want it all with him - the good, the bad, the easy, the ugly. All of it. I want to do the hardest things in life with him by my side.

On May 31st we had a particularly difficult meeting in the evening. Afterward, we went to "our spot," sitting on a cliff that overlooks the city. As we gazed at the lights I reminisced about the first time we'd gone there. How he'd looked me intently in the eyes and told me he was falling in love with me. On this night, things felt harder. We vulnerably expressed ourselves and disagreed on things and cried and kissed and felt our love for one another grow. As we held each other above the unaware city, I felt sad, peaceful, and resilient.

Toward the end of the conversation, he told me that he'd written a poem for me, but that he'd have to go back to the car because it was in his suit coat. I was surprised and so excited for him to read it to me. He was gone such a short time before he came back and carefully sat down next to me. I looked down to my left and watched him sort of fumble to pull the piece of paper out of his pocket. As I saw a ring box appear instead of a poem, I was left in absolute awe. He lifted the lid, presenting a stunning, halo wedding ring, and he asked me to marry him.

No matter how many times I replay this moment in my mind, it still feels like I'm experiencing it for the first time. Although I knew at this point that we were planning to get married, I was under the impression that he probably wouldn't buy a ring for at least a few more weeks. I've never been so legitimately shocked in my entire life. Once I got ahold of myself I told him that of COURSE I would marry him. I can't imagine a more perfect moment.

When I think about it, it's so fitting that he would surprise me like that. Since that day I read that first article this boy has been surprising me. He surprises me with his love and compassion. He surprises me with the way he's both incredibly intelligent yet freaking cool at the same time. He surprises me by the way he touches me and effortlessly gets me wanting him more than I want my own life. I'm consistently surprised by the way he talks to me, looks at me, and listens to me.

He loves me in the crevices of my life. Between the children and dirty dishes and 10-hour work days, he loves me fiercely. Loyally. And what I want more than anything is to be sealed to him and attempt to spend the rest of my eternity trying to help him feel loved by me the way that I do by him. 

If there's one thing our courtship has encouraged us to do, it's been to bravely choose what we feel God wants and what we want, regardless of what other people think. We've had friends and family express concern about our timeframe, and honestly, I get it. I think I'd likely have similiar feelings about it if I were on the outside. But I find peace in knowing that no one else can possibly understand what we understand for ourselves. Heavenly Father has, quite miraculously, brought us together at this time. And God, I am so grateful for that.